Useful Information

by Ric Seaberg

Released 2002
Released 2002
Versatile, ranging from blues to country ballads, biting humor to love songs, reggae to flat out rock 'n roll. There are few who can match his wordsmithing talents.
  • 04:43 Lyrics
    We Talk About Cars

    We Talk About Cars
    Copyright Ric Seaberg

    The girls in the book group talk about feelings
    Politics and government, ethical dilemnas
    The girls in the book group talk about details
    Character development, dieting and travel
    Personal revelations, how the y got their hair cut
    Tom and Patty's marriage, Sally's romance
    But over in the driveway, just before football
    The boys are sorta pensive, and if and when we talk….

    (Chorus)
    We talk about cars, some about fishin'
    Getting' more mileage from a manual transm ission
    Cars!…To make the connection…we talk about cars!

    The girls in the book group talk about issues
    Worries on the homefront, what would make you happy?
    The girls in the book group talk about children
    Other people's problems, jobs and global warming
    Ob sessive and compulsive model train enthusiasts
    Oprah's new selection and Niki's new boss
    But over in the brew pub, sippin' up micros
    The boys are kinda quiet, But if and when we talk….

    We talk about cars! All across the nation
    How your plugs are firin' i s useful information
    Cars!… To make the connection, we talk about cars!

    (Solo)
    (Bridge)

    We like to bond over bondo, it isn't right or wrong
    We share a common language, that's how we get along!

    The girls in the book group read between the crow's feet
    Se arching for the meaning and shedding a tear
    The girls in the book group talk about lifestyle
    And choices people make about the way they live
    Arrogant and disgusting SUV drivers
    Menopausal moments and when to retire
    But over by the big screen snackin' on nachos
    There's no conversation but if and when we talk….

    We talk about cars! Anna Kournikova
    Stickin' new wheels on the 67 Nova
    Cars! To make the connection….
    We talk about….
    We talk about cars!! (repeat, fade)

  • 03:27 Lyrics
    The Betterment of My Heart

     

    There was a man, to be precise, livin' Velveeta loca-like

    Smokin' and drinkin', cholesterol offa the chart

    And to be true, I was the man…

    I needed some nice girl to hold my hand-

    I wanna thank you baby for the betterment of my heart.

     

    I wasn't calm, I was alone

    I ate a lot of fries and ice cream cones

    Hidin' my sorrow, drivin' around in my car

    You came along, to be my wife, 

    You gave me love and fish to save my life

    I wanna thank you baby for the betterment of my heart

     

    The doctor said to call him right away

    You got a test to take

    I think I'd rather be the last to know

    The chances that my heart will break

     

    Solo

     

    The doctor said to call him right away

    We got the testing back

    I think I'd rather be the last to know

    The chances of a heart attack

     

    I called him back, he says I'm fine

    "You got the LDL right back in line

    I wanna know, son, what your secrets are!"…

    I'm good to her, she's good to me

    And that's the way love is supposed to be

    I wanna thank you baby for the betterment of my heart

    I wanna thank you baby for the betterment of my heart

     

  • 03:41 Lyrics
    No Tool For That

    I need a half inch router and a three-ton jack

    I need a rear tine tiller and a wet dry vac

    I want a gas line trimmer for the locoweed

    I need a cordless sander with a warrantee but I..

    Don't need this broken heart

    That only time will mend

    I can …fix almost anything

    But when love turns its back

    They don't make a tool for that

     

    I need a dust collector and a laser stand

    I need a broadcast spreader for the nitrogen 

    I want a biscuit cutter to repair the porch

    I need a nail compressor and a propane torch but I

    Don’ need this broken heart

     

    Solo

     

    I need a joiner/planer and a socket wrench

    I need a post hole digger to install the fence

    I want a jet stream washer and a doweling jig

    I'll take a generator with a welding rig but I

     

    Don't need this broken heart

    That only love can mend

    I can… fix almost anything

    And I'd bring her sweet love back…

    But they don't make a tool for that..

    No they don't make a tool…..don’ make a tool for that

  • 03:38 Story Lyrics
    Didn't Say I Love You Right

    When you told me you love me for the very first time

    Man what a shock, you know you blew my mind

    But I love you so much, so I spoke from the heart

    And said I'd find the time to fix the rust on your car

     

    It's a whole lot more than love, so I don't know what you were dreaming of

    When you slammed the door and drove off that night

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right.

     

    I saw all of those dishes left after lunch

    Man what a mess so I stuck with a hunch

    Cuz I love you so much and the dishwasher's there

    So I loaded it up with my usual flair

     

    It's a whole lot more than love, so I don't know what you were dreaming of

    When you saw my work and your face turned white

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

     

    So I worked on your car and got rid of the rust

    With my buffer and sander and the tools I trust

    And I love you so much ? I decided to pause

    To wash my overalls with your blouses and bras

     

    It?s a whole lot more than love so I don't know what you were dreaming of

    I used plenty of bleach! Don't be so uptight

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

     

  • 03:43 Lyrics
    My Happy Heart

    I lie awake at night, dreaming of you

    Kicking my feet, and watching you sleep

    And as the moon slips by, over the bay

    I count my lucky stars outside, 

    And hear a song that I could write

     

    (Chorus)

    It's easy to find the words to sing

    And since you love me

    I can do most anything

    The songs of yesterday were grim

    The metaphors and synonyms

    Those days I was torn apart

    Now I sing with my happy heart!

     

    I push the blanket back, rise to my feet

    Leave you in bed, with a tune in my head

    And as the sun returns, over the bay

    I tell you as we greet the dawn

    I've written you another song

     

    Chorus

    Solo

    It's easy to find the words to sing

    And since you love me

    I can do most anything

    The songs of yesterday were blue

    Ya think a guy would get a clue

    But loving you has changed my art

    Now I sing with my happy heart!!

    From My Happy Heart!!!

     

  • 04:11 Download Lyrics
    Don't Know What You Got

    Friday nights at the football game, 

    Fresh tomatoes from your own back yard

    Sayin' a prayer to your favourite God

    And takin' a trip in the family car

     

    (Chorus)

    You don' know what you got til it's gone

    You don' know what you got til it's You

    don' know what you got til it's gone

     

    Risin' for work when the sun comes up

    Stoppin' for coffee on the way to town

    Havin' some luck at the fishing hole

    And holding hands while the sun goes down

     

    (Chorus)

    (Bridge)

    Now freedom has a certain ring

    And justice is the plan

    Men and women living free

    That is our philosophy!

     

    (Solo)

    (Bridge)

    (Last Verse)

    Mowing the lawn on a sunny day

    Helping the kids set up a tent

    Planning your life with the one you love

    And speaking up when you dissent 

     

     (Chorus, fade)

     

  • 04:29 Download Lyrics
    The Bill Walton Song

    You were a stutterer… You were a big tall geek

    You read Mother Jones and Willamette Week

    You were a carrot top… You were the center's curse

    You never ate red meat

    And you knew Patty Hearst

    Bill Walton…didn't I see you in a suit today

    Callin' a game for the NBA…I tune in to hear your view

    Bill Walton we're proud of you

     

    I hear your sentiments….. I see your new acclaim

    I hear you goin' off on somebody's game

    You hated interviews ….. You were a malcontent

    So how'd you get so doggone eloquent

    Chorus

    Solo

    You took heat from the fans… You took heat from the press

    It was a love-hate thing in PDX

    Now you're a TV star..I am your humble fan

    You are the quintessential color man

    Bill Walton…Didn't I see you on the tube today

    Callin' a game for the NBA  I tune in to hear your view

    Bill Walton we're proud of you…Bill Walton we're proud of you

     

    Bill Walton.. Didn't I see you in a suit today

    Callin' a game for the NBA…..Hope that ankle is better too!!

    Bill Walton we're proud of you, didn’t I see etc

     

  • 05:00 Download Lyrics
    Like Him that Way

    He may not be perfect, but he is still okay

    Cuz he's got two bad broken legs, and I like him that way

     

    Sometimes I wonder, if I might go insane

    Livin' my life in a wheelchair, just like Blaine

    And I am grateful for these feet, they work with ease

    I need my feet to kick his ass, when he starts to tease

     

    Well he may not be perfect, then none of us are

    He can't dance the mambo at the Taco Del Mar

    Maybe you detect my pride for what he's become

    He may not be perfect, but I call him my son

     

    Sometimes I wonder, if I might go insane..

    Tryin' to find a curb cut down on Taylor or Main

    Or tryin' to get a cab if I was stranded at night

    Yes if I was disabled would I fight a good fight?

     

    He may not be perfect, then none of us are

    And he can't burn the clutch out of his mother's new car

    Well he may be the bravest man that I ever met

    And he gets my devotion and undying respect

     

    Bridge

    But I can still be firm and I will be firmer still

    When he is popping wheelies up on Blueberry Hill

     

    He may not be perfect, but he is still okay

    Cuz he's got two bad broken legs and I like him that way

    Maybe you detect my pride at what he's become

    He may not be perfect, but I call him my son

    No he may not be perfect, but he's my perfect son.

  • 04:23 Download Lyrics
    Forever Marie

    I wandered around in this lonely old life

    And I stayed to myself, I wasn't lookin' for help

    No I couldn’t be broken, I felt sorry for guys

    On Valentines Day, with love in their lives

    If you'd asked me the question, on the day that we met

    How long I'd be single, then I would have said

     

    Forever, forever, forever, forever

    Forever and ever you'll see

    Forever, forever, forever, forever

    Forever and ever Marie

     

    Now I see you awake from a summer night's rest

    While the sparrows sing sweet, on Madison street

    And I think I might crumble if you say no

    But I can't be your husband just by saying it's so…

    So I pop you the question, and you wink your eye

    And say "how long will you love me?'

    To which I reply

     

    Chorus

     

    Solo

    Now we stand in the garden with family and friends

    And I pledge to remind you, again and again

     

    Forever, forever, forever, forever

    Forever and ever you'll see

    Forever, forever, forever, forever

    I'll love you forever, Marie

     

  • 03:15 Lyrics
    Hog Line

    Forget that fly fishin', unless you're a wuss

    Get yourself some real bait, and come along with us

    There's Chromies in the river, down by the slough

    Start your engines gentleman, we got business t'do

     

    On the Hog Line

    On the Hog Line

    There's a forty pound salmon, and that fishy is mine,

    We're bringin' down the hammer 

    On the Hog Line

     

    Wait a minute baby, where's my thermos t'go?

    Hand me over that ol' hook son, lemme slip on some roe

    Now just toss it in the water, ain't no reason t'cast

    They're schoolin' on the radar, and they won't make it past 

     

    This ol' Hog Line,

    We're on the Hog Line

    Now when there's thirty-five boats, that's a pretty good sign

    It's time t'bring down the hammer 

    On the Hog Line

     

    Solo

     

    Oh there's Hogs in the river!!! Not just a few!!!

    Start your engines gentlemen, we go business t'do

     

    Choruses, fade

     

  • 03:36 Lyrics
    Why You Picked Me

    It coulda been a doctor, or a lawyer with a boat

    It coulda been a movie star when you said okeydoke

    Or maybe a professor, with a doctorate degree

    So I can't help but wonder, why you picked me

     

    It coulda been an athelete, with a fast and flush career

    It coulda been a businessman with skekels up to here

    It coulda been a president, or a future nominee,

    So I can't help but wonder, why you picked me

     

    (Bridge)

    I believe a greater man would gladly fill my shoes

    But there you were to pull me from the shadows of the queue

    Now there are things in this big world I'll never understand,

    But when you say you love me I become that greater man

    (Solo)

    (Bridge)

     

    It coulda been a ruler, with a name like Maharaj

    But I'm the man you picked and I just work in this garage

    It coulda been a banker, with a knack for currency

    So I can't help but wonder, why you picked me

    No I can't help but wonder, why you picked me.

  • 04:07 Lyrics
    One Hit Wonder

    I don' think I'm askin' too much if I make this one request

    I've been workin' hard for many years and I try to do my best

    But a song that makes the hit parade is something that I've missed

    So I'd appreciate it if you'd grant me this small wish!

     

    Chorus

    I wanna be a one-hit wonder, I wanna be a one-hit wonder

    I wanna be a one-hit wonder, just one time!

    And If I could be a one-hit wonder, If they would give my song a number

    Then I could be a one-hit wonder, before I die

     

    Well my mp3s are listed so you can download from my site

    And I practice my guitar before I go to bed at night

    Then I dream my composition will be climbing up the chart

    And I thank you Mr. DJ from the bottom of my heart!

     

    Chorus 

    Solo

    Bridge

    Yes I know a verse and chorus should be followed by a bridge

    And I know that I can do it because the "Swingin' Medallions" did!

     

    Chorus 

    Out

  • 02:45 Lyrics
    For Thee

    I hear the steam train rollin' by the esplanade

    I said my prayers this morning to a living God

    I've got a new tuxedo and a cumber bun

    I hear the church bells ringin' up in Washington

     

    Walk away? That's not right! I become an honest man tonight!

    Run away? No, not me! I've been waiting all my life for thee!

     

    We get a life together with a willing spouse

    We get a pasta dinner at the judge's house

    We get a trust agreement and a band of gold

    We get to laugh and snuggle as we're growing old

     

    Chorus, Solo

     

    (Third verse follows, first 8 measures spoken or sung in judgevoice)

     

    Now there's a damn good reason for the marriage of

    These two fine people..It's a thing called love

    Now you two are legal! You're certified!

    Be good to you r woman, now KISS THE BRIDE!

     

    Walk away? Yes I said! I've got a lifetime deal with the woman in red

    Run away, That's for me! I couldn't drink another cup of tea

    And I've been waiting all my life for thee!

     

    Walk away? Yes I said! I've got a lifetime deal with the woman in red

    Run away? That's for me! I couldn't eat another bite of brie

    And I've been waiting all my life for thee!

  • 03:57 Download Lyrics
    The Vulcan Walk

     

    Pinch on your ears, get serious, like Spock

    C'mon everyone let's do The Vulcan Walk....

     

    Don't ask about Star Trek, my knowledge is brief

    I remember the Tribbles, they caused lots of grief

    But when you need a homey, to solve a space crime,

    Vulcans are brilliant, and they can meld minds,

    So let's do The Walk, The Vulcan Walk, etc.

     

    When Scotty lacks power, he yells with aplomb

    And Shatner's a barker for Priceline.com

    Spock is a Vulcan, he goes into a trance

    And I always wanted to make up a dance

    so let's do The Walk, the Vulcan Walk,etc

  • 04:53 Lyrics
    We Got A Lab

    (featuring Blaine Deatherage-Newsom "calling the dog")

    He chews our socks, he chews our shoes

    Our shoes are wasted, so is the table

    We love this puppy,  we get him chew toys

    I much prefer the rubber ones, they're quieter

    We got a lab...... A Labrador Retriever

    We named him Chestnut, we're Labrador Believers

    He licks our hands, he licks our faces

    He licks the lawn, where other labs pee

    We love this puppy, he flops his head on your neck

    When you are drifting off to sleep

    Chorus Solo (spoken word: come here boy....here Chess....get your toy....NO BITE!)

    We found a big Pet supermarket, we get the best food they have

    We use our credit card, we get other stuff

    How many pig ears does one dog need Chorus, fade

NOTES
A well known Portland daily newspaper columnist once described Ric Seaberg this way: "In a kinder and gentler world, he would have been a rock star."

Ric was front man and lead vocalist for a band that was part of the unique Northwest Rock scene in late 60s & early 70s (that laid the foundation for what became grunge). The Morning Reign played in most large cities and small towns across the Northwest and opened for …
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