Vehicular Tuneage

by Ric Seaberg

Released 2015
Released 2015
Rockin', catchy car songs. Think Randy Newman, Jackson Browne, Warren Zevon, Beach Boys.
  • 04:44 Lyrics
    We Talk About Cars

    The girls in the book group talk about feelings
    Politics and government, ethical dilemmas
    The girls in the book group talk about details
    Character development, dieting and travel
    Personal revelations, how they got their hair cut
    Tom and Patty's marriage, Sally's romance
    But over in the driveway, just before football
    The boys are sorta pensive, but if and when we talk….

    (Chorus)
    We talk about cars, some about fishin'
    Gettin' more mileage from a manual transmission
    Cars!…To make the connection…we talk about cars!

    The girls in the book group talk about issues
    Worries on the homefront, what would make you happy?
    The girls in the book group talk about children
    Other people's problems, jobs and global warming
    Obsessive and compulsive model train enthusiasts
    Oprah's new selection and Niki's new boss
    But over in the brew pub, sippin' up micros
    The boys are kinda quiet, But if and when we talk….

    We talk about cars! All across the nation
    How your plugs are firin' is useful information
    Cars!… To make the connection, we talk about cars!

    (Solo)
    (Bridge)

    We like to bond over bondo, it isn't right or wrong
    We share a common language, that's how we get along!

    The girls in the book group read between the crow's feet
    Searching for the meaning and shedding a tear
    The girls in the book group talk about lifestyle
    And choices people make about the way they live
    Arrogant and disgusting SUV drivers
    Menopausal moments and when to retire
    But over by the big screen snackin' on nachos
    There's no conversation but if and when we talk….

    We talk about cars! Anna Kournikova
    Stickin' new wheels on the 67 Nova
    Cars! To make the connection….
    We talk about….
    We talk about cars!! (repeat, fade)

     

  • 04:14 Lyrics
    Little Volvo

    Everybody sings about the fastest cars

    Like a little deuce coupe with a flat head mill

    But you shouldn’t drive fast in the neighborhood

    And what’s so cool about scoops on a hood?

    Squealin’ at the light sounds so damn great

    If the cops don’t see ya do it!

    Well before it starts I wanna stop the bleedin’

    My safe car was made in Sweden!

     

    Go little Volvo...... you got a fortified dash

    Go little Volvo...... you’re good in a crash

     

    Go Little Volvo......this cargo is precious to me

    Go Little Volvo......my son, the dogs and Marie

     

    That little Nash Rambler goes beep beep beep

    Cuz it goes so fast you gotta let it by

    People drive so fast, what are they thinkin’?

    You could get killed in some hot rod Lincoln!

    So... gimme a car with air bags front

    Air bags roof, air bags side

    I don’t car much about speed when I drive

    I just wanna get there alive!

     

    Go little Volvo.....I like the traction control

    Go little Volvo.....you’re not likely to roll

     

    Go little Volvo......crash dummy delight

    Go little Volvo......we are choosin’ life

     

    Solo

    Bridge

    Most of us appreciate greatly

    Your innovations in personal safety!

     

  • 04:36 Lyrics
    In My Daddy's Car

     

    I didn’t know how to drive but i was learnin’, down by Franklin High

    My father closed his eyes when I was turnin’, he was terrified

    But we would turn the AM on, and sing the Duke of Earl

    I was only seventeen, but I felt like the King of the World

     

    In my Daddy’s car, In my Daddy’s car

    In my Daddy’s car, In my Daddy’s car

     

    I drove over to Sarah’s house, every chance I got

    She was only a sophomore, but she was hot

    Sometimes I’d sneak out at night, and stay out til the dawn

    But when he left for work he never said

    “Why’s the engine warm?”

     

    Chorus

    Solo,

    Bridge

     

    Weekends were for changin’ oil, spark plugs and tires

    We’d put on the football game, and cuss at the umpires

     

    My father took a drive last year to the country in the sky

    And left me this ol’ Pontiac, from 1965

    Now as my kids are askin’, if they can learn to drive

    Well The Duke of Earl is lookin’ down

    While we harmonize.....

     

    chorus, out

  • 03:41 Lyrics
    Bitchin' Camaro

    Well my sister just told me there's a song called "Bitchin' Camaro"

    Which is amazing- cuz there are very few rhymes for Camaro 

    I just pulled my rhyming dictionary up to check it out on my iPhone 

    And just as I suspected rhyming choices for Camaro are narrow 

     

    Yeah my sister Julie says there is a song titled "Bitchin' Camaro"

    Well perhaps I could stand- to beef up my head banging collection 

    Cuz I haven't really ever heard the song titled Bitchin' Camaro 

    So of course that makes it credible for me to write one of my own

     

    Bridge

    There's arrow, and sparrow, but sparrow's unconnected to Camaro

    There's taro, and pharaoh , or mispronunciation of Carol.....

    solo

    bridge

    There's arrow, and sparrow, but sparrow's unconnected to Camaro

    There's taro, and pharaoh , or mispronunciation of Harold.....

     

    Well my sister Julie Facebooked there's a song titled "Bitchin' Camaro"

    So now I have to Google it to see who in the hell wrote the first one

    And I have just written MY version- in a Facebook window

    Since I decided that it's plausible for me to write one of my own 

    Yeah I figure it's acceptable for me to write one of my own

     

    Outro

    I owned a Bitchin' Camaro

    During my mid life crisis

    Thank God for rhyming dictionaries

    Bruce Springsteen uses one

    But when you look up crisis

    No results are found

  • 03:36 Lyrics
    Fix My Car

    I could feel that car was starting to lug

    Drivin' to Spokane in a V dub bug

    I was 20 years old and I made a mistake

    When I pulled onto the shoulder by Moses Lake

     

    Well some people tried to pull me with their Mitsubishis 

    But I was stuck in the mud by some invasive species

    Then a tow truck came with a hitchin' bar

    And pulled me into town so they could fix my car!

     

    Fix my car! So I can entertain

    We need t'make the gig in Couer D'Alene

    If it takes all night to say au revoir

    That'll be alright but just fix my car!

     

    Solo

    Then a dude in a truck that was caramel brown

    Said he heard that we were stranded in his one horse town

    His name was David Dills, he didn't have a spouse

    So we crashed on the floor in his ranch style house

     

    Well david played piano with a lot of pride 

    Three Dog Night and Hitchin' a Ride 

    I spent a sleepless night with my old guitar

    Jus hopin and prayin they could fix my car

     

    Fix my car! For The Morning Reign

    We need t'make the gig in Couer D'Alene 

    If it takes all night to say au revoir

    That'll be alright but just fix my car

     

    Fix my car, Danny and Reece

    With a few new parts and some elbow grease 

    Well it took all night and it was very bizarre

    But we were back on the road since they fixed my car!

     

    Au Revoir Moses Lake!!!!

  • 04:37 Lyrics
    That's One Hell of an RV Park

    I see a tube top walkin by the laundromat

    I see an airstream shinin in the sun by that

    There's some nice new trees and a blacktop road

    We got a ice machine and a couple hoes

    There's a grocery store jes a block away

    Where I take the kids on Saturday

    We got rules so don let your Bichon bark

    Oh that's one hell of an RV park

     

    There's a real nice pool with a changin room 

    and they say were gonna get a new hot tub soon

    There's a big recycle by a pretty lawn

    And Jon Bon Jovi on the intercom 

    You can walk to the mall,

    fish in the sea

    Or get a dry martini from the lady in three

    There's lights on the walk so you can see after dark

    Yeah that's one hell of an RV park

    Solo

    Bridge

    Oh well on Friday night by the cyclone fence

    We watch the high school game commence

    My neighbor Dennis is kind of a creep

    But I won sixty bucks off his mom last week

     

    There's a big wide driveway t'bring in your rig

    By the managers permanent RV crib

    Sign a few papers, pick out your site

    Take off your hitch and spend the night

    We got a real nice garden where you can sit

    By a weeping willow with rhodies n'shit

    There's a gazin ball, cuz it adds to the art

    Yeah that's one hell of an RV park

  • 03:25 Story Lyrics
    In a Toaster Moon

    Cruisin’ along on a stream of air

    Lookin’ for Phoenix or somewhere near there

    Just passed an all night propane stop

    Had conversation with some local cop

    Oh, it’s Saturday night, in a toaster moon

    Oh, it’s Saturday night, in a toaster moon

     

    Come on over with your folding chair

    Take a breather in the Autumn air

    Get out the shaker while we’re talkin’ shop

    A pink martini or a lemon drop

    Oh, it’s Saturday night, in a toaster moon

    Oh, it’s Saturday night, in a toaster moon

     

    Solo

    Bridge

    The sun is setting on the maple trees

    The moon is risin’ to a nice cool breeze

    I hear the tricklin’ of the moon-lit brook

    Break out some crackers and the Tillamook!

     

    They built this trailer back in “63”

    You’re lookin’ natural in those green capris

    Our restoration took a lot of parts

    This little toaster is a work of art

    Oh, it’s Saturday night, in a toaster moon

  • 04:27 Lyrics
    Don't Drive Your Car in the Bike Lane

    Don't drive your car in the bike lane Joe 

    You almost killed this guy I know Once you're dead you're dead for life

    Don't drive your car in the bike lane, Mike

     

    It was a beautiful day for a ride 

    He got his sunscreen all applied 

    He put an energy bar in his pack.

    A water bottle and Click and Clack But with the sun shining down on him 

    Here comes the part that's kinda grim

    A driver did not see him pass

    Until his helmet get the windshield glass

     

    Chorus

    Solo 

    Verse 2

     

    And now his helmet is enshrined 

    We feel lucky that he's doing fine

    A little shaky but he won't quit 

    As for the bike....... recycle it

     

    Chorus

    Last chorus

     

    Don't drive your car in the bike lane Joe 

    You almost killed this guy I know 

    Once you're dead you're dead fo' sho'

    Don't drive your car in the bike lane Bro

    - See more at: http://ats.ricseaberg.com/consciousness_2012/#sthash.sY0Mj7gI.dpuf

  • 03:32 Lyrics
    The Bichon Song

    We take our van when we go for a ride

    It's a full blown Astro with a lift on the side

    There's jus' one thing missin', one thing to get

    We need a puppy on board, we need a little white pet

    One a'those dogs with a great disposition….

    One a'those dogs would be a stellar addition!!!

     

    Chorus

     

    We need a Bichon Frise, We Need a Bichon Frise

    We need a Bichon Frise…on the motorway

     

    When you're through with the classified ads

    We'll stop at the store for some waterproof pads

    Buy a few, buy a box, maybe pick up a spare

    Just in case….later on…. we end up with a pair!!

    I'll change the tires, drive over the passes

    You walk the dog in your butterfly glasses…

     

    Chorus

    Solo

    Warm up the Chevy, put a new leash on

    We're hittin' the road with a lovable Bichon

    Chorus


    We got a Bichon Frise etc

    Ad lib

    We're cruisin' t Nashville, they're throwin' a bash filled with

    Bichon Frises, etc

     

  • 03:52 Lyrics
    I Don't Drive

    I don’ drive at all that’s the secret to life

    I don’ drive a car,  no I jus’ ride a bike!

    I don’ pay insurance, n’don’ pay for gas

    I don' buy big tires that aren't gonna last

    When I’m in the saddle i’m flyin’ first class cuz 

    I don’t drive

     

    Now it can be tough not driving at all

    It’s hard to play golf or to get to the mall

    Well even in winter I’m ridin' in shorts

    With bicycle socks, for extra support

    Cuz when you’re in Portland that’s par for the course

    yeah I dont drive

     

    bridge

    I get a lot more done cuz I dont drive

    I have a lot more fun since I dont drive

     

    I hit the bodega when I’m on the street

    Don’ drive to the market for tofu n’ beets

    No ozone depletion from an oversize bomb

    I can’t haul a table or coconut palm

    So I make my order with Costco.com

    since I dont drive

     

    Solo

    Bridge 2

     

    And when I move on hope my tombstone will say

    Oh I did my best not to drive everyday

    A nice eco-friendly peddle’n guy

    And you’ll see my name there, when you’re walkin’ by

    I don’t drive

     

  • 03:01 Lyrics
    Jesus Didn't Have a Car

    One child, born in a manger

    Destined to a life of danger

    Little is known of his childhood, well,

    There’s a few things we can pretty much tell

     

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Jesus didn’t have a telephone

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Or he mighta driven home

     

    One man, hammer and planer

    Teenage, cabinetmaker

    Haulin’ up wood to the cabinet shop

    Hurry up son we need another big block 

     

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Jesus didn’t have a pick up truck

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Or he mighta picked it up

     

    solo

    bridge

    Well all of a sudden he was healin’ the lepers

    And turnin’  the water to wine

    Raisin’ the dead and partin’ the waters

    Scarin’ the King, but on the bottom line....

     

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Jesus didn’t have a Chevrolet

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Or he mighta got away

    Jesus didn’t have a car

    Or he mighta got away

     

  • 03:31 Lyrics
    Didn't Say "I Love You" Right

    When you told me you love me for the very first time

    Man what a shock, you know you blew my mind

    But I love you so much, so I spoke from the heart

    And said I'd find the time to fix the rust on your car

     

    It's a whole lot more than love, so I don't know what you were dreaming of

    When you slammed the door and drove off that night

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right.

     

    I saw all of those dishes left after lunch

    Man what a mess so I stuck with a hunch

    Cuz I love you so much and the dishwasher's there

    So I loaded it up with my usual flair

     

    It's a whole lot more than love, so I don't know what you were dreaming of

    When you saw my work and your face turned white

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

     

    So I worked on your car and got rid of the rust

    With my buffer and sander and the tools I trust

    And I love you so much ? I decided to pause

    To wash my overalls with your blouses and bras

     

    It?s a whole lot more than love so I don't know what you were dreaming of

    I used plenty of bleach! Don't be so uptight

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

    I guess I didn't say that I love you right

  • 04:20 Lyrics
    King Omega LTD

    He wasn’t rich.......he kep’ a messy pad

    Didn’t see him much...but he was my dad

    And when he died he did not leave me...that blue Kiwanis coat

    But I did become the owner of a 1980 boat!

     

    He didn’t leave me stocks or money

    He didn’t leave me racks of wine

    He didn’t leave a special father’s note, or literature behind

    He didn’t leave me safe deposits

    He didn’t leave me poetry.....

    He left a grey and rusty

    King Omega LTD

     

    The water in my trunk....added to my doubt

    I never did determine how to drain that ocean out

    It had a special combination

    Of fragrances inside

    Like circulated air conditioned smoke from Lucky Strikes

     

    Chorus

    Solo

     

    Bridge

    But things that we inherit, somehow bring up tears

    And I couldnt let the damn thing go for 12 or 13 years

     

    He didn’t leave me stocks or money

    He didn’t leave me racks of wine

    He didn’t leave his views on politics, for me to take as mine

    He didn’t leave me safe deposits

    He didn’t leave a dime to me.....

    He left a grey and rusty

    stinky musty

    Crown Victorian

    Dinosaurian

    King Omega LTD

  • 03:51 Lyrics
    My New Truck

    There's a key in my pocket

    There's a road out my door

    There's a rig in, my driveway

    Much bigger than

    The one I had before

    There no Pepsi,  in the change hole

    For my quarters to get stuck

    There's no French fries on the

    The dashboard

    Of my new truck

     

    I've got diesel, fired horses

    But they still do, pack a punch

    I got a mini, fridgerator

    For when I take my lunch

    All my friends are green with envy

    When they see all this stuff

    There's a version of home depot

    On my new truck

     

    My woman won't drive it!

    Not that "Monstermobile"

    But that's okay with me anyway

    I'd rather be behind the wheel

     

    So I take her, out to dinner

    To a fancy new cafe

    When she orders steak and lobster

    I throw my cares away

    No it isn't,  bout the money

    What's a paltry hundred bucks

    When I think of what I paid for

    My new truck

    I'll be workin', til I'm 80,

    In my new truck

  • 03:14 Lyrics
    I Need a Car

    I jus’ ran a mile to catch a bus

    They say leave the drivin’ up to us

    I sit down beside a funky smell

    Who looks at me like I should go to hell

     

    I need a car!…nothin’ too groovy

    Somethin’ with wheels, somethin’ to move me

    T’keep me away from where the wild things are….

    I need a car!

     

    I change places when I get the chance

    I catch a strangers eyes in a fleeting glance

    I smile warmly as I tip my hat

    She replies..”hey! what are you lookin’ at?”

     

    Chorus

    Solo

    Bridge

     

    Somebody in the back starts smokin’

    So the driver goes to see who’s tokin’

    But when I bump him with my knee…

    He transfers all his anger onto me!….

     

    Chorus

  • 03:58 Lyrics
    Woodie

    I need a travelin car. One t haul my boards in

    When I go to the beach. I need a real good deal

    And a woman to stand with me, through this whole ordeal

    Now I've been shopping everyday and I am proud to say its done

    While you've been standing by my side now would you like to take a ride?

     

    Cuz I just got a woodie, thinking about you!

    Yeah I just bought a wagon, so we can hit the road

    And you have been so good to me while I've been on this shoppin spree

    And I just got a woodie, thinking about you!

     

    I like surfin a lot and drinkin beer with friends when I go to the beach

    So here we go.....Cuz I just bought a new rig

    And we are stylin' now

    And you have been so radical what a bitchin surfer gal

    While you've been standing by my side, I just bought gnarly ride

    Chorus 

    Solo

    Lift

    If I apply the wax an all, I know you'll buff my woody doll

    And that's why you just came to mind when I got that contract signed! 

    Chorus

  • 04:54 Download Lyrics
    We Talk About Cars 2015

    The girls in the book group talk about feelings 
    Politics and government, ethical dilemmas 
    The girls in the book group talk about details 
    Character development, dieting and travel 
    Personal revelations, how they got their hair cut 
    Tom and Patty's marriage, Sally's romance 
    But over in the driveway, just before football 
    The boys are sorta pensive, but if and when we talk….

    (Chorus) 
    We talk about cars, some about fishin' 
    Gettin' more mileage from a manual transmission 
    Cars!…To make the connection…we talk about cars!

    The girls in the book group talk about issues 
    Worries on the homefront, what would make you happy? 
    The girls in the book group talk about children 
    Other people's problems, jobs and global warming 
    Obsessive and compulsive model train enthusiasts 
    Oprah's new selection and Niki's new boss 
    But over in the brew pub, sippin' up micros 
    The boys are kinda quiet, But if and when we talk….

    We talk about cars! All across the nation 
    How your plugs are firin' is useful information 
    Cars!… To make the connection, we talk about cars!

    (Solo) 
    (Bridge)

    We like to bond over bondo, it isn't right or wrong 
    We share a common language, that's how we get along!

    The girls in the book group read between the crow's feet 
    Searching for the meaning and shedding a tear 
    The girls in the book group talk about lifestyle 
    And choices people make about the way they live 
    Arrogant and disgusting SUV drivers 
    Menopausal moments and when to retire 
    But over by the big screen snackin' on nachos 
    There's no conversation but if and when we talk….

    We talk about cars! Anna Kournikova 
    Stickin' new wheels on the 67 Nova 
    Cars! To make the connection…. 
    We talk about…. 
    We talk about cars!! (repeat, fade)

     

NOTES
I have no idea how I've come to write so many songs about cars. Although I must say that placing 2 of my songs on CarTalk compilation CDs may have inspired me some. After "We Talk About Cars" appeared on the CarTalk CD, it began to receive radio play on stations 'round the world. I kneel at the feet of CarTalk. So here is my own compilation CD, which includes the original "We Talk About Cars", …
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