From the recording Consciousness
Lyrics
I keep a bottle by the bed
It's too much trouble to get up
They said I'd fade but never said
I'd keep a bottle by my bed
Theres ibuprofen by the bed
In case the pain’s too much to bear
There's other stuff to take instead
My life revolves around NSAIDs
bridge
I wear a toupe and a brace on my back
There's just a little muscle tone that I lack
But when I tried to fix that hole in the deck
It caused a lump the size a France on my neck
Solo
2nd bridge
And when I tried to move the barbecue once
I threw my back into a funk for a month
I’m nominated for King of The Gout
I got a half a dozen crowns in my mouth
My father told me I'd get old
So I said daddy you’re a fool
In my old age I'm trying t'thrive
We don't get outa here alive
I keep a bottle by the bed
It's tmi but I don't care
There's cheddar cheese and whole wheat bread
Beside my bottle by the bed
No matter what you think of me
I wont be gettin’ up to pee!