From the recording Regards From The Roombar

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My old friend Richard was a great guitarist
But he did'nt like practice and he slept around
He stole picks at the music store, but chicks were an easy score,
They all came runnin' when we came to town
Now I understand you need a first class player
Somebody good with a lick
But if you believe that Richard is your answer,well
Don' get me wrong but you don't know Dick
My old friend Richard plays a Stratocaster
With some custom pick-ups that he made by himself
He's a master on lead, and he will actually bleed
When he is hammering on or performing a squelch
Now I understand you need a first class player,
Someone who knows all the tricks
But you don't remember when he hit on my woman,
So, go right ahead, but you don’t know Dick
Oh Yeah, yer gonna be dazzled 
Yer gonna get volume to rattle the walls
Yer gonna get a rocker with a nice vibrato,
Yer gonna get hair and yer gonna get balls
Now I understand you need a first class player
Someone to boogie and click
Richard's a monster but I've got to be honest
I've got the impression that you don't know Dick
Oh yeah, yer gonna be dazzled
A show that will rival Santana and Mick
You'll get a musician with a rock star look
And you're gonna get screwed because you don?t know Dick